When he told his friends about his “relationship”, he was met by backslapping and hearty congratulations-if he had been a girl and she a man, it would’ve been seen as the child sexual abuse (CSA) by a predator that it was. This extends to pubescent boys abused by older women, as a relative of mine was by his teacher. Another fallout of the female-as-weak, male-as-strong binary is that women aren’t seen as sexual initiators and potential perpetrators of abuse boys aren’t seen as needing protection and care. Yes, women rape yes, men and boys are raped. “No penetration, but all of the rest happened.” After school in the afternoons, the maid would put his younger sister to sleep, and then take him to another room where she would sexually abuse him, using the promise of gifts to buy his obedience. She must’ve been eighteen or nineteen at the time, a dusky woman with long hair who wore blouses and flared skirts. When Chandran was four or five, the full-time help his working parents employed went on a weeklong holiday, and had left a stand-in. There is no doubt that the sexual abuse Chandran had experienced had played a part in this lifelong emotional turbulence.
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